


Blessed Boon, Wretched Curse

by PinboardButterfly



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Worship, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Compliant, Canon Non-Binary Character, Canon Universe, Character Study, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Other, Pining, Romance, Scars, Sex, Slow Romance, Weird Biology, chaos has feelings and is doing their best to understand them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:47:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinboardButterfly/pseuds/PinboardButterfly
Summary: "My home feels emptier without you here.”Chaos comes to love Zagreus for more than just his entertainment value. Zagreus has been in love with Chaos for longer than he'd care to admit.
Relationships: Chaos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 245





	1. A Gift, Rescinded

**Author's Note:**

> a collection of chapters focusing on the developing relationship between chaos and zagreus. they can be read out of order, but there is a general progression of the relationship from one to the next.

_No_ , Chaos thought, somewhat conclusively. _This simply will not do._

They gazed down at the small, glistening jar held loosely between their fingers, rolling it over in their hand and watching the nectar within ooze against the glass. The jar prickled with arcane influences, tinged with the essence of Zagreus that was impossible to ignore. Whatever he touched, wherever he went, he left traces of himself, as did all things that are and were. This jar of nectar was no different. It hissed and spat with a fury rivalled only by Zagreus’s father, and yet was undercut by Zagreus’s own tenuous generosity, curiosity, and kindness.

Chaos sighed.

Zagreus had just left, leaping nimbly through a portal and disappearing into the dark. What foolishness had overcome him, to think of giving such a thing to someone such as Chaos? And what foolishness had in turn thus infected Chaos, to give Zagreus something in return? Whatever had occurred, it did not sit well with them. They played it back, picking it apart, moment by agonising moment.

There was so single phrase, no strange utterance, that Chaos could find which had lured them into such an act. There was just Zagreus, and that roguish grin that had come to stir unnaturally the eldritch energies that dwelled within Chaos’s archaic form. 

A ripple of death passed through Chaos’s domain, shaking them from their reveries. Chaos turned and drew their fingers through the threads of shadow and stars surrounding them, reaching for that single disturbance. When they found it, they pulled. It was Zagreus, of course, fallen to the spear of Theseus once again.

 _He will not be pleased_ , Chaos mused. They liked to help him, when they could. Chaos was no friend to the Olympians, and no friend to Hades either. But because of Nyx, their beloved one who had taken Zagreus under her wing, they had seen Zagreus’s own true nature, and the fascination with his escape attempts had thus began. At first it was curiosity – who was this child who thought themselves able to challenge Hades? How foolish. How _intriguing_. An intrigue which would plague their thoughts for days.

Thus came Chaos’s interference. A pact, a boon, a cost. That had been Chaos’s rule; teach the child the way of things, that victory never came without sacrifice. Zagreus responded admirably. Each failure sent fire through him, a mounting inferno, that Chaos felt grow with every journey Zagreus made to their domain. Chaos had prodded him with gentle guidance and listened with a patience that exceeded their usual tolerance. In turn, Zagreus had offered them his blood, and an unwavering determination to succeed.

Zagreus. Chaos looked down at the jar of nectar still grasped in their hand. This jar must be the cause of such strange deviances from their normal thoughts, it had to be. A gift not often reserved for the likes of those who spent their eternity in the cosmic aether blanketing the Underworld.

 _It must be returned_ , Chaos thought decisively. _Then, I may feel normal once more._

Chaos did not like to interfere with Nyx’s domain – or the House at all, for that matter – but they deemed this an essential intrusion. With a languid curl of their fingers, the darkness before them blossomed outwards like smoke, filling out into a shape rather like a mirror. On the other side appeared the image of a bed chamber, and in front of it, Zagreus. He looked irate, Chaos noted absently, as he stretched a hand upwards to gloss fingertips across the blackened glass. Irate and drenched in blood.

And something arose within Chaos, something they had not felt in well over a millennium. Feelings were not required of a being such as they, although when these feelings had first arisen, Chaos could not remember. They had always been a part of them, but long before now they had been buried so deeply it were almost as if Chaos was without feelings at all. Now all they knew was that after a while of surveying the House of Hades, stirrings had begun to occur within the recesses of their twisted matter, and they had become so accustomed to the strange sensations thereafter they could not imagine eternity without them. 

Chaos reached out and stepped through the mirror. A crackle of energy accompanied their arrival and Zagreus fell backwards with a shout.

“Blood and darkness!” he cursed, chest heaving, staring wide-eyed up Chaos. “I – Master Chaos! Forgive me, I – what are you doing here?”

Chaos looked around. This was Zagreus’s bed chambers. They were not unfamiliar with them, having kept an eye on the Prince’s progress for some time, but this was the first time Chaos had manifested physically within, and it was not at all a pleasant feeling.

 _“I have spoken before of my preference for silence,”_ Chaos uttered, recoiling as they laid eyes on the disarray of the room. _“Your unnecessary belongings are… overwhelming. Remove them.”_

Zagreus scrambled to his feet. “But… they’re mine. This is my room. And, respectfully, you never answered my question.”

Chaos rarely felt dazed. But every item in this room, every cluster of gemstones, every scattered trinket, discarded tunic – everything emanated an aura, that if Chaos so wished, could be tugged upon to reveal its past. A thousand threads tinged with Zagreus reached outwards, whispering, pulsating. It felt… utterly intoxicating, and for a moment Chaos was so absorbed in the sensation of Zagreus pressing in around them that they briefly misplaced their voice.

_“This.”_

Chaos thrust out the jar of nectar towards Zagreus. Zagreus regarded it for a moment and then looked up at where Chaos hovered in front of him, his expression hurt.

“Oh, the nectar? I – forgive me. You do not like it? I meant no offense.”

There it was again – that stirring within them, as though Zagreus had reached his hands within Chaos’s chest and ran his fingers through the cosmic energies holding their form together. It was uncomfortable and unnecessary. It was borderline detrimental. And yet… Chaos made no moves to suppress it. A flick of a wrist, a pulse of energy – these ‘feelings’ would be no more, buried deep back beneath the matter of their form from whence they had first arisen.

But Chaos was beginning to enjoy the sensations Zagreus caused, and realised this with no small amount of surprise.

 _“You misunderstand,”_ they answered instead _. “It has become disruptive.”_

Zagreus cocked his head. “You came here to return the nectar I gave you, because it has become… _disruptive_? Would you care to elaborate?”

_“No.”_

Zagreus blinked. “Alright. Well, I suppose I could take it off of your hands, if it is indeed ‘disruptive’. Would you like something else instead? It doesn’t feel right to keep the egg you gave me if you do not wish the nectar. You were the one who taught me that things do not come freely, after all.”

 _“You are a curious creature, child of Hades,”_ Chaos answered, passing Zagreus the jar. _“There is no need for gifts. I have told you that these feeble attempts to endear yourself to me are unnecessary.”_

Zagreus weighed the jar between his hands. “But you seemed to like the nectar. Am I missing something, Master Chaos?”

The removal of the jar from Chaos’s presence had briefly alleviated the cacophony of emotion within them, but the lopsided smile that now appeared on Zagreus’s face revived those emotions almost immediately and with such intensity that Chaos decided it was time to leave. They had had quite enough of this for now, and were sure that once they were alone in the silence of their own domain, they would begin to feel at peace again.

 _“The egg is yours,”_ Chaos said reaching back out to the strands of the place they’d left behind. _“Do not attempt this foolishness again.”_

Before Zagreus could answer, Chaos found themselves back within their realm. There was a certain anticipation to this return. The offending jar of nectar was gone, _and now_ , Chaos thought, _things will return to normalcy once more._

XXX

Zagreus stood, now in the agonisingly empty space of his bed chamber, and regarded the jar of nectar in his hand. It was cool to the touch, the glass presumably chilled by the unusual temperature of Chaos’s domain.

Guilt welled within him, tinged by humiliation. Gods, how could he have been so stupid? To think of giving Chaos something that the Olympian Gods – the Olympian Gods who had _forgotten_ Chaos – so ardently desired. Of course they hadn’t liked it. _They’d probably only accepted it out of sheer surprise and politeness_ , Zagreus thought, _although not that they had any real need to be polite, since they are, after all, a being of eldritch power and infinite knowledge not confined to this realm like the rest of us._

The humiliation burned, white hot, and Zagreus turned to lob the jar of nectar at the wall when he turned and found Nyx hovering silently in the entrance to his room.

“What a waste,” she teased gently. “I would take that, if you are intent on destroying it.”

There was something about Nyx’s voice, those velvet, dulcet tones that were always able to soothe any aches within his heart. Today’s aches were no different; they ebbed in the presence of such comforts, and Zagreus lowered his arm, trying hard to quell the embarrassed flush that had risen to his cheeks.

“Sorry, I… didn’t see you come in.”

He walked over and laid the jar beside the Fated List of Minor Prophecies, sprawled across the table opposite Nyx’s mirror. Nyx watched him, entering into his room and coming to sit on the edge of his bed.

“I jest, of course, child,” Nyx said carefully, watching him as he leant back against the table and sighed. “Have you had trouble with an Olympian?”

“I wish it were that simple. No. I suppose you felt someone enter here just now?”

Nyx nodded. “Something… interred on your father’s House. But knowing of your exploits, I understood that it might be the result of another escape attempt, and came first, before your father took it personally.”

“He takes everything personally.”

“This is his House, child. But come, tell me of what occurred.”

Zagreus hesitated a moment before walking over and settling himself on the bed next to Nyx. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, he just… Chaos created Nyx. This much he knew. Nyx had warned him of Chaos many times – that they were a trickster, but not a deceiver. Of course, Zagreus had seen this – the boons Chaos offered were unlike anything the Olympians could give, but they always took something away, as was, Chaos had explained, the very nature of their existence.

A part of Zagreus feared what Nyx might say if she learned of the feelings that he had begun to develop for the being, the being whose strange voice and form would come to Zagreus while he slept, unusual and so utterly captivating Zagreus barely went a day without sparing them a thought, and searched for them each and every time he traversed the depths of the Underworld in search of the path to the top.

“Your last attempt,” Nyx said softly, interrupting his thoughts. “Did someone follow you back?”

“No, not really,” Zagreus answered. “You’ve seen how I’ve been collecting nectar?”

“Indeed.”

“Well, I… decided to give some to Chaos.”

“Ah.” Nyx’s smile was tinged with concern. “And that jar sitting over there on your table – it would explain the disturbance we felt just now?”

“They wanted to give it back.” Zagreus hated the way his voice sounded, so thin and sad. “They said it had become ‘disruptive’, whatever that means.”

“You feel slighted?”

“I do. Is that foolish of me?”

“Not at all.” Nyx shook her head. “Chaos may be a powerful being, but it does not always mean that they understand their fellow immortals.”

Zagreus looked at Nyx imploringly. “Then what do you think that I should I do?”

“Ah, that is not for me to say, child. Your choices are your own, and I have faith you will come to the right decision in due time.”

Nyx patted Zagreus on the arm and rose from the bed. He stood after her, watching as she shot him a final, encouraging smile, before disappearing out of his room again.

“Excellent,” he muttered sarcastically. “Looks like I’m going to have to find someone else for advice.”

Unfortunately, the House of Hades was sparse today. Zagreus wandered around, finding only Orpheus, deep in lament in his chair, and Cerberus in the main hall. And as much as Cerberus loved Zagreus, he was not Zagreus’s first choice for this particular conversation.

“ _Feelings_?” Orpheus echoed, eyes widening as Zagreus hurriedly motioned for him to keep his voice down. “Are we truly discussing the same Chaos, my friend?”

Zagreus winced. “We are, but _please_ , Orpheus, not so loud.”

“Oh.” Orpheus looked around, his fingers twitching worriedly against his harp’s strings. “Does Nyx know of this?”

“Of course. Sort of. Listen, I just wanted to know what you think I should do.”

“Do? Perhaps there is nothing more _to_ do. I do not think it the wisest course of action to be pursuing feelings for Chaos.”

“You don’t?” Zagreus stared at Orpheus for a long beat. “You’re no help after all. Is Meg in?”

Meg was, in fact, in. Zagreus found her in the lounge, murmuring over a glass of something red to the Chef across the bar. Zagreus slipped into a chair next to her and she groaned.

“No.”

“But I haven’t asked you anything yet.”

“The answer is still no.”

“Megaera, please,” Zagreus pouted. “I need advice.”

_“Advice?”_

She huffed out a laugh and turned to face him, crossing one leg over the other and raising an eyebrow. Zagreus squirmed internally under her steely, unblinking gaze. It wasn’t fair that she was able to both turn him on and freak him out all in the same calculating look.

“Yes, advice,” Zagreus said thickly, after a beat. “You see, I… I decided to give some nectar to Chaos.”

“Oh?” Meg took a long sip of her glass. “And let me guess: poor Zag got his heart broken by the being that hasn’t had a visitor in over a millennium and thus possesses all the social skills of Sisiphyus’s blasted rock.”

Zagreus did his best to hide his blush. “Don’t be ridiculous. And his name is Bouldy.”

“Whatever.”

Zagreus continued, frustrated. “I just wanted to know what you thought I should do. How to proceed, I suppose. They insisted I keep what they gave me, but… it doesn’t feel right when they won’t take mine.”

Meg leant back in her chair and sighed, long and low, narrowing her eyes at Zagreus over her glass. The eyes travelled down his freshly blood-stained tunic and back to his face again, somehow both appraising and dismissive all at once.

“You wish to know what _I_ would do, were I in your place?”

“Um, yes?”

“Treat them with the same courtesy they have shown you. They refuse your gifts, but insist you take theirs? How juvenile. If they wish to be wry, then be wry with them back. I would wager it’s been a long time since their transgressions were addressed. Show them how it feels to be snubbed.”

“Of course you would say that,” Zagreus sighed. “I’m not looking to offend, Meg. I just want them to understand.”

“And they will.” Meg slipped off of her chair and stalked away across the lounge. “Give it a few days and if that doesn’t work… well, you could always beat the affection out of them.”

Zagreus groaned and leant his head against the bar. “Great idea. Hold on while I ready my death defiances to take on one of the primordial creators of the world - not only that, but Nyx's parent, too. Yes, I'm sure she'd find it all very amusing and not in the least likely to crush me into a pulp."

Meg shrugged and didn’t look back as she exited. “Just a suggestion.”

XXX

Things did _not_ return to normalcy, much to Chaos’s disbelief. In fact, they had become much, much worse than before. Not only had Zagreus ignored Chaos’s invitations to join them on his escapes four times in a row now, but the whispers of Zagreus that the jar had left behind were utterly incensing to them. They would go about their business as usual, and then all of a sudden, they would pass across a trace of the jar – of _Zagreus_ , that sheer force of will mingled with inquisitive gentleness that was arguably even more disruptive to their day that the physical presence the jar had been. After a while, they found themselves searching for those wisps left behind, searching for Zagreus as he had not visited in what felt like so long.

Chaos had watched him, a fifth time now, ignore their offers to traverse their domain in favour of other treasures offered by the Underworld. It was infuriating. Disarming. Offending. And yet Chaos couldn’t help but feel as though their actions had directly caused such rebukes.

Which is, incidentally, how Chaos found themselves stepping back through the Mirror of Night and into Zagreus’s bed chambers, only a few days after they had left.

“Master Chaos!” Zagreus had been leant over the List of Fated Prophecies. “I… You’re back?”

_“Indeed.”_

Chaos hovered, suddenly unsure of how best to phrase what they wanted to say. Zagreus took a few steps away from the List of Fated Prophecies and towards them, folding his arms across his chest.

“Are you here to try to return another gift?”

 _Ah_ , Chaos thought. _Then_ _Zagreus is indeed still upset._ It sent a flash of guilt through Chaos, a feeling to which they were not oft accustomed.

_“No, child of Hades. You have not visited again, and thus I am not in possession of gifts which I might return.”_

Zagreus raised an eyebrow. “No? I suppose you wouldn’t get them from anyone else.”

_“I come in the hopes that you might return the nectar unto me.”_

Zagreus stared at Chaos, blinking. “You wish the nectar back?”

 _“I do.”_ Chaos did their best to appear contrite. _“I regret the decision to return it to you. I offer an apology; I have slighted you by returning the nectar, which was not in the least my intention. Truthfully, my domain has become… unruly, without it.”_

Zagreus regarded Chaos for a long moment. A strange sensation of remorse swelled within Chaos, accompanied by the echoes of anticipation and hope. It had been a long time since they had experienced such strength of emotion, and while not all emotion could be said to be pleasant, they would admit to enjoying feeling anything at all, now, after so long spent in the dark. 

The moment passed, and Zagreus’s critical gaze softened into something like appreciation. Chaos was relieved to see it.

“Of course, Master Chaos. The nectar was – _is_ – yours. I gave it to no-one else. Give me a moment to retrieve it from my things.”

He turned away and began rummaging through a chest against the wall, waving a hand casually to the room behind him.

“Please, make yourself comfortable. And, um, I do not mean offence when I say this, but if there is something you might do to make yourself… less…”

Chaos waited for Zagreus to finish, but he trailed off, and Chaos realised there would be no conclusion to the sentence, instead inferring meaning from the waves of awkwardness rippling off of his form.

_“I understand, child of Hades. I will endeavour to… condense myself, whilst in your home. It is the least I can do to convey my respect.”_

Zagreus sounded relieved. “Thank you, Master Chaos. Does it sound foolish to say that sometimes I find you too, um, _loud_ to look at directly? I can’t seem to find a better word to describe it.”

 _“Not foolish all,”_ Chaos said, closing their eyes as to concentrate on rearranging their energies. _“In this form, I am raw matter filtered through arcane-bound conscious. I myself am surprised you can maintain visual contact for quite so long as you do.”_

By the time Zagreus had retrieved the jar of nectar from his chest, Chaos had reopened their eyes. They chose a form close to those who lived and worked in the House of Hades, a form only a little taller than Zagreus’s own, and one which restricted the amount of energy able to flow from them at any given time. Zagreus smiled softly and stretched out his hand to pass Chaos the nectar.

“I… you look…”

 _“Less ‘loud’, as you so put it?”_ Chaos offered, taking back the nectar gratefully.

“Ah,” Zagreus chuckled, a faint blush gracing his cheeks. “Yes. Less loud.”

It was ridiculous, really, that Chaos ought to feel so calmed to have the nectar back in their grasp after trying to desperately to get rid of it, but the sensation of the glass against their hands was bliss. Strands of Zagreus ebbed and flowed around it, the very thing Chaos had been chasing ever since it had vanished from their domain. What once had been overwhelming on first visit, Chaos now leant into the intoxicating sensation of being surrounded by Zagreus’s things, each one tinged with Zagreus himself so as to create the feeling of being entirely enveloped by his emotions.

It was… wonderful.

They realised, then, it was not the nectar they had been craving all this time. 

“Could you stay a while, Master Chaos?”

Chaos glanced up, surprised. _“I do not wish to deter the progress of your next escape attempt, child of Hades.”_

Zagreus smiled. “It can wait.”

Maybe Chaos had been too hasty, too unwilling to learn these newest feelings, adjust to their intensity. All Chaos knew now, as they moved across the room to converse some more with the Prince, was that they craved more of whatever Zagreus had roused within them.

A dangerous thought, indeed, and yet the mere presence of Zagreus stood so close next to them was enough to send their next rational thought into gentle disarray. What once had begun as an unusual infatuation with Zagreus’s attempts to escape had now morphed quietly into a minor infatuation with Zagreus himself.

 _Oh,_ Chaos thought shrewdly, _but to consider the possibilities that this infatuation might hold._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update: the lovely LazyEldritchAbomination drew some amazing fanart for this fic! you can find it here - https://lazyeldritchabomination.tumblr.com/post/636885167584182272/hey-i-my-very-first-fan-art-please-go-check-out


	2. Hook, Line, Sinker

The cool feel of the cosmic egg clutched under Zagreus’s arm did little to mitigate the unusual sensation that always came over him when he descended into Chaos’s domain. It was sharp and fast and sent a crackle of energy across his skin, accompanying the gooseflesh that had already appeared there.

The blood price was instead replaced by a flash from the cosmic egg as Zagreus landed amidst the crumbling ruins of Chaos’s home. A void of darkness, peppered with stars. Zagreus glanced around. Shards of stone columns floated idly through the air, as though suspended in time where they’d been shattered. A choice of three blessings glistened enticingly on the floor ahead, although their purple auras were tinged with a darker shadow that could only be their accompanying curse.

“Master Chaos?” Zagreus ventured.

He received no reply from the darkness. Zagreus shrugged and wandered forwards towards the blessings, knowing that if Chaos wished not to show themself, then there was little Zagreus could do to change their mind. He made it a few paces across the floor when he stopped, catching sight of a glistening fin in the darkness surrounding the ruined temple.

“A fish?” he murmured, unable to keep the surprise and enthusiasm from his voice. “Here?”

He passed by the blessings and scrambled to pull out his fishing rod, coming to a stop at the edge of the stone. It was cold and he winced sitting down on it, a direct contrast to the heat of Asphodel he’d left behind by coming here. Zagreus had encountered a few fish in the Underworld thus far, but fish in Chaos’s domain? It seemed unlikely, and yet Chaos was a being of origin, after all. Perhaps living things gravitated to them, as Zagreus himself had done.

A graceful cast landed the lure in the darkness, precisely where Zagreus had spotted the fish from afar. He wiggled on the stone, settling in for a long wait. Some of the fish he’d encountered thus far were particularly stubborn catches, and _hey_ , he thought, _I’m sure Chaos won’t mind my staying a bit longer._

A few moments passed and Zagreus swung his legs back and forth, keeping careful watch of the lure bobbing amidst the shadows ahead. A few more, and a ripple of energy announced Chaos’s arrival. Zagreus only glanced at them briefly to offer a convivial smile, and then returned his attention to the fish, lest it get away.

_“What are you doing, child of Hades?”_

Zagreus pointed at the lure. “I’m fishing. And hello, Master Chaos. It’s good to see you again.”

 _“’Fishing’?”_ Chaos’s strange, many-echoed voice was tinged with disbelief. _“You are… fishing. In the deepest depths of my domain.”_

“Yes, I suppose I am. Rather strange, isn’t it?”

_“Strange indeed.”_

Zagreus glanced sideways at Chaos. They floated to his left, adopting the form they had taken when first they visited his chambers. Akin to the other immortals of the House, they had morphed into a body, condensing their fluctuating energies into something seemingly solid. The wings about their head remained, as did the many eyes. Golden bangles hovered about their arms and wrists.

Not wanting to stare, Zagreus glanced back at his fish. Gods, Chaos was enchanting. There was something about their structured face, their subtle expressions, those sculpted features. Zagreus coughed to disguise the sudden warmth now flooding his body and shifted his weight, trying very, very hard to concentrate on fishing.

“Care to join me?” Zagreus asked after a moment, in an attempt to distract himself. “I may be here a while.”

Chaos seemed to hesitate a moment before relenting, floating gently to the floor and settling themself back against a broken pillar only a metre or so away. Zagreus smiled.

“You know, I think I’ve figured it out,” he said conversationally. “Why your blessings also have curses, I mean. You’re teaching me, aren’t you? Like Achilles would, but… in your own way. The curses that enhance damage from traps – ensuring I must avoid them to survive. Eventually, I learned to avoid them altogether, cursed, or not. Likewise, cursing me to take damage from my own attacks. You force me to learn to utilise whatever else is at my disposal to its fullest capacity. Even the curses which hinder my vitality. I learned to go slower, conserve energy, look for an opening, and not just blindly hit everything I can see.”

Chaos’s mouth curved up into the ghost of a smile _. “I knew you would understand. In all things there is a balance: to give, and to take. I am pleased to see you recognise this. Take for example, your fish.”_

Chaos’s hand gestured elegantly to the lure bobbing in the darkness.

_“You cast your line, baited, to retrieve something from the ether. From this effort, you are rewarded. But what must you sacrifice to gain this prize? Time, patience, and material cost. Nothing comes freely in this world, child of Hades. It is better to learn that down here, before you venture out there.”_

“’Out there’.” Zagreus felt his fingers tighten reflexively around the fishing rod. “You mean, the surface? Beyond the Underworld?”

_“Yes. The world of mortals is as unforgiving as the world of the dead – more so, perhaps, since there is only a single chance at life. No doubt you have heard stories of the sun, the ocean, the sky. All beautiful, and all wasted. I helped form a world that, even with best intentions, grew still to be cruel.”_

“Is that why you remain down here?” Zagreus asked quietly. “Surely, there must be something out there worth loving?”

Chaos regarded him curiously, for such a long beat Zagreus wondered what must be occupying Chaos’s thoughts so. Eventually, they answered, their voice a hundred restless whispers, each one tinged with sadness.

_“Perhaps. But I have no intentions of ever venturing to the surface again. My home is here, amidst the silence, and the shadows.”_

Zagreus’s heart ached to hear Chaos’s sorrow. It was true they were difficult to read sometimes, and most times Zagreus could just catch a glimpse of emotion in their tone, or rarer still, their body language, but it only spurred him to ask more questions. He wanted to know Chaos better, that he might help them if they felt the urge to confess their troubles, as it seemed they felt inclined to now.

“Oh, come now,” Zagreus answered cheerily. “Surely it’s not all doom and gloom? Why, Nyx resides here. Aren’t you two close?”

_“Once, we were. But I wish not to speak of my beloved Nyx. It will only serve to sadden me, and there is nothing worth gaining from despairing now.”_

“Ah, my apologies then, Master Chaos. I hope…” Zagreus glanced over, a warmth rising to his cheeks. “I hope you might find something new, then, that you might come to care for down here.”

Chaos met his gaze, unblinking purple eyes so intense it felt as though they burned right through Zagreus’s skin and into his soul.

 _“I believe, child of Hades,”_ they uttered, _“that I already have.”_

Zagreus’s breath hitched in his throat, and so distracted was he by the sudden thud of his own heart, he almost missed the tug on the rod between his hands. With a yelp of surprise he whipped back round and pulled on it, the shadows ahead bursting outwards to reveal a mass of red tentacles enveloped by a transparent, glistening dome.

 _“Well done,”_ Chaos said as Zagreus scrambled to his feet. _“Your reflexes are developing, even if your concentration leaves much to be desired.”_

Zagreus blushed and regarded the fish now dangling off of the line in front of him, a welcome distraction from Chaos’s piercing gaze.

“What is it?”

_“A projelly. Quite rare, even for my domain. Now, come, we have impeded your progress enough for one visit.”_

Zagreus stuffed the wriggling thing into the bag that the House Chef had given him and turned to Chaos once more, finding them back on their feet (or, hovering just above the floor) aside the three blessings still waiting nearby. As he closed the bag, his hand brushed a bottle nestled within, and he pulled it out with a flourish, having almost forgotten it had been in there at all.

“Ah, Master Chaos! I brought this for you. Here.”

He strode over and passed the jar of nectar to Chaos, who accepted it with the hint of a smile.

_“You never cease to amuse me. I have nothing more to offer you other than my gratitude, of course, but then you knew that already from the last few gifts you have presented to me.”_

“Think nothing of it.” Zagreus smiled. “I like pleasing you, Master Chaos.”

_“As you do many of your companions. But be sure not to give too much of yourself away in this appealing exchange. I know your father’s demeanour leaves much to be desired, and while he is not an admirable example of a parent, I do wish you to know that you need not overexert yourself to compensate for the bloodline to which you belong.”_

Zagreus blinked. His chest suddenly felt a little tight and he glanced away, doing his best to hide the affect which Chaos’s response had had on him.

He knew this, of course. Rationally, he always wondered if his friends found it shallow to shower them in gifts to show his affection. Perhaps they thought that Zagreus was trying to buy their love, which was the last thing he wanted them to think. The truth of it was as Chaos had stated. While Zagreus’s friends had told him that his companionship was more than enough, Zagreus always felt the need to apologise in some way for the shadow of his father, who seemed to accompany him in spirit, no matter where he went.

After a beat, Zagreus simply turned and nodded to Chaos, his throat tight. “Thank you, Master Chaos. I… I will think on what you have said.”

He picked a blessing at random, breathing still a little unsteady, and fled Chaos’s domain, before he might be forced to confront any more emotions which he wanted nothing more than to avoid.

Chaos watched Zagreus leave, sensed the waves of anxiety and humiliation emanating from his form as he dived into the portal and vanished once again. They knew the topic was a tender one for Zagreus, but they had wished to reassure him all the same.

They turned away from the portals and closed the remaining ones with a curl of their fingers. In their other hand, the weight of the jar of nectar reminded them of the reason why they had brought up the subject in the first place.

Amidst the aether out there lay the small pocket domain where this jar would join all the others Zagreus had given them, yet another token of his affection. Chaos had amassed quite the collection, now, and they revelled quietly in being able to immerse themselves in the sensations of Zagreus, even when he was no longer here.

As Zagreus was beginning to have more than just an emotional affect on Chaos – this, they well knew, and were slowly coming to terms with. The last time they had idly created had been when Nyx was nearby, and that, truly, was many eons ago. But now fish and other creatures roamed their realm, few and far between, but there, if Zagreus wished to stay to find them. Chaos hadn’t even noticed themself crafting them. But of course, they must have, for there could be no other explanation for their appearance.

Chaos had watched Zagreus struggle with the rod in Tartarus only a little while after he’d first obtained it. Endearing, that Zagreus would stop to catch the unusual denizens of the Underworld’s rivers whilst surrounded by so much death and destruction.

 _“Achilles, the fallen, thinks you a god of blood,”_ Chaos murmured to themself, reaching for the hundredth time into the shadows to once again survey Zagreus’s progress. _“A god of life. And while I know well your wish to be a god of nothing and no-one, to be as far from your father’s nature as possible for an immortal to be, I think we both have come to understand that some wishes are destined to never be true. But fear not. The only thing which you possess of your father is his eye, and his rage. And even then, your rage is far greater than his might ever be. You oppose him with this title, stand as his direct reverse: the life, to his death.”_

And although there was no way for Zagreus to hear Chaos’s reassuring words, something must have reached him, for Chaos watched Zagreus reach farther in the Underworld this time than he ever had before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why isn't chaos a romance option :(


	3. Oasis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanted to write a brief note here – i went back and changed some descriptions/dialogue in chapters 1& 2 to better reflect chaos as an entity. following some deeper research into the mythos i found chaos was actually one of four entities responsible for the world’s ‘creation’ for lack of a better word, and chaos is only credited with the creation of nyx and erebus, as far as i can tell, not the titans. sorry for the confusion!

Music.

Chaos had never much understood it, although they could appreciate the expressive value it held. Too often it interfered with their thoughts, which were, most days, content to drift languidly from one subject to the next, an uninterrupted flow of consciousness.

Recently, however, the uplifting effect it seemed to possess had become of particular interest to them. As their time was mostly spent surveying Zagreus’s journey to the world of the living, their thoughts were generally occupied with his self-proclaimed heroics. Thus, they had come to consider music in a way they had not done so before. 

Chaos gazed into the darkness, tugging upon the threads that whispered of Zagreus, that sensation of his emotion that shone through the haze of other souls trapped down here amidst the gloom. They watched him skitter into Eurydice’s home, tucked away in a quiet corner of Asphodel where the magma seemed less hot, the dangers less severe. She, like Chaos in their pocket realm, had turned her part of the Underworld into an oasis from its perils. This was where Chaos found Zagreus today.

“Your Royal Majesty!” Eurydice chirped. “Come on in. How are you?”

“Oh, you know,” Zagreus said, settling himself down with a sigh. “Just sloughing my way through the hordes of creatures my father has sent to stop me escaping. Nothing new.”

Chaos did their best to suppress a flinch at the tone of Zagreus’s words. He was exhausted. Each attempt brought him closer to the surface, to his mother – but the indominable might of his father always stood between him and freedom. It was eating Zagreus, slowly. Chaos could feel it in the Prince’s very core.

“Hey, it’s not all bad!” Eurydice’s immediate shift in attitude suggested she had noted Zagreus’s fatigue as well. “Here, why don’t I give you something to eat? And while you’re getting your strength back, I’ll sing you one of my songs.”

Zagreus smiled wearily. “I would love that.”

Chaos watched Eurydice pass Zagreus a bowl of something warm and steaming. Zagreus accepted it gratefully and leant back against the wall of her home, still smiling as he supped the meal, and Eurydice began to sing.

This was different. Chaos had watched Zagreus stop in on Eurydice many times now, and they had never heard her sing this piece. It was lilting and soft, but with a resolve to its words that quite obviously had an impact on Zagreus. After the first verse, Zagreus lowered his bowl to his knee, forgotten. Chaos drank in the enraptured expression on Zagreus’s face, reaching outwards to get a deeper sense of his feelings through the ether that surrounded them.

Awe. Passion. They struck Chaos first and most fiercely, echoing outwards from Zagreus more intensely than even his usual scorching fury. This was different. It was not a burst of adrenaline – it was kindling to a fire that had by now burnt down to naught but embers.

It was a much-needed reminder of why Zagreus had set out on this journey in the first place.

Eurydice held the final note, her voice utterly unwavering, and then fell silent. Zagreus sat his bowl to one side and shot her a winning smile.

Chaos felt themself smile in turn to see it.

“Thank you, Eurydice,” Zagreus said softly. “Your hospitality never goes unappreciated. And I loved the song.”

“I’m pleased, hon.” Eurydice nodded. “You can stay a bit longer, if you like. Finish your meal.”

“No, I… I’m better now. Got to keep up the momentum.”

“Of course.”

Zagreus clambered to his feet and made his way out of Eurydice’s home, advancing onto the next place, straight into an ambush laid by his father. This time, Chaos watched Zagreus slay foe after foe with a vigour that he rarely maintained to Elysium, and beyond.

_The music,_ Chaos thought absently _. It must have been powerful indeed. I must have underestimated its usefulness._

With a curl of their fingers, the ground across from Zagreus shifted, golden edges sharpening outwards from the earth to create a gateway to Chaos’s own domain. The minute the last enemy fell to Zagreus’s spear, Chaos snapped their fingers, and the painted earth slid back, revealing the entrance. Zagreus strode over to it, pulled out the iridescent egg from his robes that now seemed to accompany him on almost every escape attempt, and dived in.

“Master Chaos.”

Chaos closed their eyes briefly, revelling in Zagreus’s presence in their domain. What once had been so unsettling, now they relished the intensity of Zagreus’s emotions ebbing outwards to fill the mostly empty void of their home.

_“Child of Hades,”_ Chaos answered, stepping out of the shadows and manifesting before Zagreus. _“You return to me, without so much as a glance at the boons offered to you by the denizens of Olympus.”_

Zagreus did his best to hide a blush. “Yes, I… well, you must your blessings are more… potent, so to speak.”

Embarrassment echoed off of Zagreus in waves, accompanied by a much subtler undertone of desire. Chaos was silently pleased to sense it. It had been there for a while now, accenting most of Zagreus’s feelings towards them. They came forwards and moulded a set of mortal feet from their being with which to rest upon the floor. Then, realising they were halfway there already, they transformed into the form that Zagreus had once requested of them, and now was the body they adopted whenever they visited his home.

_“I offer a choice, whereas the Olympians insist upon the acceptance of their affections.”_ Chaos curled their fingers and a selection of blessings appeared before them. _“You, of course, are under no obligation to accept my offers, and yet you do. Each and every time.”_

The blush deepened. Zagreus ignored the blessings for now and took a step forwards, crossing his arms.

“Forgive my boldness, Master Chaos, but are you perhaps a little jealous?”

Surprise echoed through Chaos. _“Jealous? I am far more powerful than any who reside on Olympus. Jealously has no place within me, child of Hades.”_

“Oh?” Zagreus’s mouth twitched up into a wry smile. “Then you must forgive me again, but I fear you misunderstand. I thought, perchance, you might be jealous not of their talents, but of their repeated displays of affection towards me.”

Ah. Chaos regarded the godling with no small amount of amusement. What a curious creature, so full of wit and rage and endless kindness. Today, it would seem, was wit.

_“You ask of things beyond your comprehension.”_

“Try me.”

_“Very well.”_ Chaos took a few steps forwards and gestured to the blessings before Zagreus. _“Make your choice, and you will have your answer.”_

Zagreus quirked an eyebrow and shrugged. He reached out, testing each of the offerings, sensing their gifts and their drawbacks. When he came to the last, he recoiled slightly, unable to hide his surprise.

“This… this is a new one.” He cocked his head, glancing up at Chaos. “‘Roiling Respite’? Ensures that in one area in each tier of the Underworld ahead, Eurydice’s music can be heard, even if she herself is not present.”

Chaos nodded. _“And for the next four chambers, you encounter a greater number of foes. A fair trade.”_

A slow smile spread across Zagreus’s face. “You’ve been watching me, haven’t you? I’d have thought an immortal creator would have better things to do with their time than to tune into the many failed escape attempts from the Underworld by its disgraced Prince.”

_“You underestimate your interest to me. I confess that I value your company, child of Hades. My home feels emptier without you here.”_

Zagreus blinked, stepping briefly away from the blessing. “A-And I value yours, Master Chaos. When you told me that I would have my answer, regarding your jealousy – is this what you meant?”

_“A lack thereof.”_ Chaos moved to stand directly in front of Zagreus. _“There is no jealousy to be had, and this is the whole and utter truth. The Olympians call to you from worlds above, unable to hear a single reply that passes your lips. Yet you come to me, time and time again, and we converse, an event which once I loathed and now wholly enjoy. Not only that, but I may watch your journey in its entirety, which I admit to doing with ever-growing interest. There is no jealousy, for they cannot compete with my affections for you. No boon on all Olympus could ever rival the depth of fondness I feel for you.”_

A silence fell over Chaos’s realm, of such profoundness that Chaos had not felt since before Zagreus had first begun his visits. Chaos waited patiently, gauging Zagreus’s reaction by the ripples of emotion that emanated from his form. Shock. Relief. A hint of confusion. But most of all, this intense desire that burned so deeply as to eventually overwhelm everything else.

“Master Chaos, I…” Zagreus stared at them, clearing his throat when the words seemed to catch. “I feel the same. My sincere apologies for presuming you were jealous. It was foolish of me to do so, I… I should have understood sooner your depth of affection.”

_“Apologies are unnecessary,”_ Chaos replied, quietly pleased. _“I have been told I am complex to discern.”_

Zagreus regarded Chaos for a long moment, and when Chaos made no moves to stop him, he stepped forwards and brushed his fingertips along Chaos’s arm. Chaos regarded him curiously, surprised to find their matter respond to the touch - a flutter of something amidst their energies, that prickled and sparked like flame. Zagreus glanced up, searching Chaos’s face for any sign of discontent, in which Chaos knew he would find none.

“May I?” Zagreus uttered after a beat, voice raw with emotion.

Chaos smiled, relishing in the way Zagreus’s desires rolled off of him with such potency as to infect Chaos also. Not that they did not already feel these things, for of course they desired the Prince in turn, but Zagreus’s emotions were always somehow more concentrated. Perhaps it was that small trace of mortal blood in him. It was like a contact high, and Chaos savoured it each chance they could get.

_“May you what, child of Hades?”_ they answered teasingly, enjoying the way it sent flutters of desperation through Zagreus.

“May I kiss you,” Zagreus whispered, his eyes wide and earnest. “Master Chaos.”

Chaos chuckled and brought their hand up to Zagreus’s jaw, pressing fingers delicately to the back of his neck and pulling him in. Zagreus leant up, a palm braced against Chaos’s chest, body electric at the mere touch.

How long had it been? Had Chaos ever truly adored something in the way in which they adored Zagreus? It was confusing and intriguing and so full of _possibilities_. Endless, innumerable possibilities. The thought was enough to turn that caressing touch forceful. Chaos had known patience their whole life, if life was what their existence was. Now, they wished to be impatient. Demanding.

_Selfish_.

Zagreus moaned softly against their lips, body tensed and small against Chaos’s own. Zagreus tasted of sulphur and spring, of blood and devotion, of snow and the darkest abyss. Chaos could not recall anything quite like it. Their energies reacted, effervescent and unravelling, fixated on the feeling of Zagreus’s hand slipping lower against their torso, the feeling of his mouth against theirs. Their free hand wrapped about Zagreus’s waist and pulled him closer, fingertips pressing into the flesh of his back.

It was a little much for Zagreus and he whined, hands reaching up to cradle Chaos’s face, kissing them with such fervour that Chaos felt suddenly overwhelmed.

Honesty and affection emanated from Zagreus like an aura. Pure, veracious emotion that masked even his usual fiery temper. This close, connected as they were, Chaos was enveloped by Zagreus’s ardour.

Chaos pulled back, dazed like they had not been since first setting foot in Zagreus’s chambers. Zagreus blinked, fingers ghosting across their neck.

“Forgive me, Master Chaos,” he whispered, breathless. “I got carried away.”

_“Untrue,”_ Chaos answered, giving Zagreus a final kiss against his temple before they stepped out of his arms. _“But I am unused to such… intensity. You must forgive my hesitations. In no way do I wish this interpreted as rejection, I simply wonder if you might require more time before making your choice.”_

“My choice?” Zagreus cocked his head. “You’re asking… if I’m _choosing_ you?”

_“Harbouring affection for a primordial entity is not without its drawbacks. I would prefer to give you time to consider your advances.”_

Confusion settled into determination, and Zagreus folded his arms.

“With all due respect, Master Chaos, it was you who taught me that the Fates are double-edged. I’ve already made my choice, come what may.”

Something stirred within Chaos. Hope? Relief? They could not rightly tell, but instead smiled at Zagreus and nodded.

_“Then I am sure we will speak more of this in the future. In the meantime, I do not feel comfortable keeping you from your quest any longer. Come, select your reward for venturing into my domain.”_

Zagreus faltered a moment, caught off guard by the proposal, and then nodded, turning instantly to choose Roiling Respite. Chaos smiled.

“I love music,” Zagreus answered quietly as his body was illuminated by the cosmic energy of Chaos’s gift. “I had no idea you cared so deeply as to offer this such to me. I want you to know that I appreciate it immensely.”

_“Return to me soon, child of Hades. I would very much like your company, should you make it once more to Elysium.”_

“I will.” The resolve in Zagreus’s tone was mimicked in the threads of it that weaved about his form. “And please – Zagreus is fine. My father does not define me.”

_“As you wish, Zagreus.”_

Zagreus indeed made it to Elysium, and beyond. Chaos watched him step into Patroclus’s chamber and instantly relax to hear the soothing music of Eurydice dance through the air. Zagreus sat down in the cool blue-green grasses, leant back on his arms, and closed his eyes. Patroclus watched him curiously, unaware of the haunting melody that only Zagreus was able to hear.

“Thank you, Master Chaos,” Zagreus murmured. “You don’t know what this means.”

And from within their own realm, Chaos smiled.

_“I do,”_ they whispered back, fully aware that Zagreus could not hear them. _“And one day, you may glimpse what this means to me as well.”_


	4. A Cordial Invitation

Evening was creeping slowly upon the House of Hades. Zagreus lay atop his bed, poking at a slightly bruised rib from his most recent escape attempt. He’d made it all the way to the surface for a fourth time, only to be sent back by his father. As he lay there lamenting his failures, the pale figure of Hypnos drifted in.

“Special delivery!”

Zagreus accepted the square of card from Hypnos’s outstretched hand, read over it, and did his best to smother his surprise.

“My father _agreed_ to this?” Zagreus asked, incredulous.

Hypnos beamed. “Actually, he was the one who suggested it!” 

Zagreus back glanced down at the small, embellished card in his hand. It said:

_You are cordially invited to attend the celebration of_

_H Y P N OS_

_for impeccable services towards the running of this House._

_Drinks are to be served in the Lounge from dusk onwards._

_Come well-dressed. This card permits you to bring_

_1 G U E S T_

“Huh,” Zagreus murmured. “He suggested this, did he?”

“It’s nice that he wants to reward us,” Hypnos continued, seemingly without noticing Zagreus had spoken. “Than told me it’s because your father has a bit of a soft spot for me, which can’t be right, right? Hades is – well, he’s the God of the Underworld! He doesn’t _have_ soft spots!”

“He’d have you believe he’s invincible,” Zagreus said wryly. “But he’s not quite as tough as everyone thinks.”

Hypnos cocked his head. “Is that right? Wow, I couldn’t imagine Hades being my father. Anyway! Who do you think you’ll bring?”

“Bring?”

“Your plus one, silly!” Hypnos tapped the card held in Zagreus’s hand. “Only a handful of Gods and shades have been invited, you know. You could always invite Achilles! Or how about Meg? I mean, they’ll probably get invited regardless, but it would be nice to ask them yourself!”

Zagreus _wanted_ to say that he’d bring Achilles. Because it would be so much simpler to explain under scrutiny, and while Zagreus was not against justification, he still wasn’t sure the immortals of the House would really understand even if he _did_ explain. He should bring Meg, like Hypnos suggested. Or even _Dusa_ – hell, anyone but who his mind first leapt to.

They wouldn’t accept. Of _course_ they wouldn’t. They hated noise and clutter and this was a _party_. No doubt Hades would have Orpheus playing until his fingers bled and singing until his throat was raw. Well, if they would refuse, then that made Zagreus’s choice an easy one.

And yet…

“I’ll have to think about it,” Zagreus managed after a beat.

Hypnos looked surprised. “Oh, well, don’t think about it too long! It’s not long away, you know, and since you’re now the Underworld’s most eligible bachelor, you’d make the talk of the House to have someone on your arm!”

“Is this really a party, Hypnos, or are you just using it as an excuse to set me up on a date?”

Hypnos winked. “Who knows!”

The moment Hypnos left Zagreus’s chambers, he leapt to his feet and strode over the mirror hanging on his wall. He had to ask them, regardless of the answer, because it sat wrongly with him to take someone else without even so much as an offer to the one that he had come to care so deeply for.

The mirror had become a strange source of comfort to him; not only as a well of power thanks to Nyx’s influence, but also as the doorway through which Chaos had come to use as a means to visit. Their visits were rare, of course, but Zagreus welcomed them all the same. However, he had never asked Chaos directly to come before. Zagreus wasn’t even sure if they could hear him.

“Master Chaos?” he murmured, reaching up to brush his fingertips against the glass. “If you are listening, I would appreciate a moment of your time.”

For a brief second, nothing happened. Then, a pale grey light coalesced across the surface of the mirror and Zagreus took a step back, heart fluttering, as the shifting form of Chaos stepped through.

A writhing mass of flesh and eyes, Chaos stepped down onto the floor of Zagreus’s chambers, their form already condensing down into something akin to Zagreus’s own. Grey matter transformed and rolled back, smoothing outwards, a body forming out of the usual, fluctuating frame that Chaos assumed. It was all very quick, and yet Zagreus couldn’t drag his eyes away from them, couldn’t bear the thought of blinking, missing even just a moment of the metamorphosis. Chaos now stood before him, pale grey skin all but glowing under the light of his chamber’s torches.

_“You called, Zagreus,”_ Chaos uttered, voice a low, roiling hush. _“I answered.”_

“Y-Yes, Master Chaos,” Zagreus stammered, mind still racing from the being’s appearance in his room. “Forgive me, I did not mean to disturb you.”

_“Then why summon me at all?”_

Zagreus felt a flush rise to his cheeks. Instead of answering, he thrust out the square of card clutched in his hand, and only looked up when he felt Chaos take it from him.

Chaos looked over it, purple eyes glimmering in the dark. _“An invitation… intriguing. Explain.”_

“Well…” Zagreus felt his embarrassment deepen, already beginning to regret this decision. “Hypnos invited me to his party, and he said I might bring a guest, and I – well, I just thought…”

_“How amusing.”_

Zagreus thought he was going to explode. Instead, he focused all his attention on the way the very edges of Chaos’s mouth had twitched up into the ghost of a smile.

_“You are inviting me to attend a party, here, in the House in which you and my beloved Nyx reside?”_

“Yes, I think I am,” Zagreus said thickly, trying to force a smile of his own. “You don’t have to say yes, I just… I thought it would be nice. To do something together. Something that isn’t a brief exchange of power while I do my best to kill my father.”

Chaos didn’t respond. Zagreus held their gaze, fighting the urge to fidget nervously with the hem of his tunic. He wanted Chaos to come. He wasn’t sure the reaction his father would have, but quite frankly, his father didn’t scare him anymore, especially not since Hades was unlikely to instigate violence within his own House.

_“Very well.”_

Zagreus felt his stomach drop. “You mean to say that you will attend?”

_“Indeed.”_ That faint smile never left Chaos’s lips. _“I will accompany you to this party tonight. Is that what you wish?”_

“I do, but… if I am forcing you into something you will not enjoy, then please, I will not be offended if you reject the offer.”

Chaos seemed to ponder this a moment. _“There are downsides to all things, Zagreus, as you well know, but let me explain to you why I shall enjoy accompanying you this eve. Firstly, I shall enjoy it, for you will be present. Time spent in your presence is always pleasurable. Secondly, for it brings you joy in turn. There is no simpler a reason to attend.”_

Zagreus struggled to formulate a response to that. He was momentarily caught off-guard by the force of affection for the entity that threatened to overwhelm him. Chaos had accepted the invitation, for no other reason than they liked Zagreus, and they wanted to spend more time with him.

He broke out into a wide smile. “I appreciate that, Master Chaos. Have you, um, something to wear?”

Chaos gestured to their currently unclothed, sexless form. _“You mean to tell me that this will not suffice?”_

“I mean, _I_ don’t mind,” Zagreus said, blushing, “but I think you might give some of the House guests a bit of a shock.”

_“How superfluous. Very well.”_

Zagreus took a step back as Chaos’s form seemed to shift and change. Darkness bubbled up around them, shaping, binding, into the loose arrangement of a toga. Cinched at the waist by a belt of stars, the fabric was not made of any earthly material, but instead resembled an endless cosmos that deepened and shifted each time Chaos moved. Their hair lengthened, falling down their back in brilliant white sheets, and the wings about their head contracted, a second, much larger pair sprouting from between their shoulder blades and mimicking the cosmic beauty of their robes as they came to curl about their body.

Gods, bodied or no, Chaos was utterly entrancing. Zagreus had to forcefully tear his gaze away before they felt scrutinised.

“You look beautiful,” Zagreus said softly. “With clothes, or, um, without.”

_“Flattery earns you nothing,”_ Chaos answered, smiling. _“However, it does not go unappreciated.”_

“Then it does not earn me nothing, Master Chaos.”

Chaos’s smiled broadened, and they accepted the arm that Zagreus offered.

_“You are effortlessly captivating, Zagreus. I have come to expect such selflessness from you, and yet each time you demonstrate it, I am again surprised.”_

“Oh, don’t say that,” Zagreus grinned. “Wouldn’t want such compliments to go to my head, now would we?”

_“I say it out of reassurance, Zagreus, of your strength of character. But by all means, deflect. I find it endearing.”_

Zagreus blushed and tugged on Chaos’s arm. “Now who’s the flatterer?” he muttered, pulling Chaos towards the Lounge. 

It was unexpectedly busy. Hades was there, deep in conversation with Thanatos. Nyx hovered by the door, listening as Hypnos motioned melodramatically, obviously over-exaggerating some wonderful tale of a shade’s recent exploits. Surprisingly, Charon was sat at the bar, sipping out of a goblet that bubbled with a strange purple drink. And there was Orpheus, predictably cradled in a chair as he thumbed the strings of his harp.

Shades milled to and fro, a few Zagreus recognised from his father’s recent good graces. But it all paled into the background as Zagreus realised, upon entering the Lounge, that everyone was staring at them. 

Or, more accurately, Chaos. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and were staring at Chaos. And then their eyes slid sideways to take in Zagreus, his arm entwined in theirs.

After a stunned beat of silence, Orpheus shook himself and quietly started playing again.

_“Wow!”_ Hypnos gasped, abandoning his conversation with Nyx and flitting over. “You came! And you brought… Chaos! Huh. Who would have guessed!”

“Not my father, that’s for sure,” Zagreus said sarcastically, revelling in Hades’s current expression of sheer disbelief. “Sorry we’re late, Hypnos.”

“Oh, not at all! You’re not late. Quite the opposite!”

Nyx drifted over, nodded to Zagreus, and then inclined her head deeply to Chaos. “Chaos, it has been too long.”

_“Indeed,”_ Chaos said. _“But do not mistake this visit as a means to converse, Nyx. I am here at Zagreus’s request only, and I shall not discuss that which might endanger the enjoyment of his evening.”_

“I understand.” Nyx nodded, and then smiled softly at Zagreus. “I had my suspicions, child, but I am glad you brought Chaos tonight. It warms me to see you so content.”

Zagreus did his best not to blush. “It’s been a while, I’ll admit.”

Hypnos looked back and forth between them all, wide-eyed. “You know, I have no idea what’s going on right now, but I am _loving_ it! Who wants a drink?”

The night, all things considered, was pleasant. Hades got over his initial shock and spent most of the party avoiding Zagreus, which Zagreus had to confess, suited him fine. Chaos got on well with Hypnos and Thanatos, them being Nyx’s children, which Zagreus had not foreseen but found relief in as well since they were among his closest friends in the House. Even Charon caught a moment of Chaos’s time, which took Zagreus by surprise, who had only left their side briefly to snatch a third – or was it fourth? – round of drinks.

As the evening drew to a close, Zagreus found himself at a table with Megaera, who had arrived fashionably late and with her hair worn loose. He sipped his nectar, watching Chaos talk quietly with Hypnos at the far end of the bar.

“Well, you did it, Zagreus,” Meg said with a sigh, her own drink half-finished on the table before her. “I don’t know how – maybe I don’t _want_ to know how – but you _actually_ managed to seduce Chaos.”

Zagreus smiled. “They’re really quite wonderful, once you get to know them.”

“Right. And all those… eyes... don’t bother you?”

“Not a bit.”

Meg shrugged. “To each their own, I guess. Glad to see my advice worked, at least.”

“Oh, no, your advice was useless.” Zagreus’s eyes went wide, realising too late what had slipped drunkenly past his lips. “Ah, no, Meg, what I mean to say is–”

“That I’m useless.”

“No!”

Megaera laughed. Zagreus did a double take, watching the way her whole face lit up with a smile. She covered the laughter with one hand, eyes crinkling up at the sides with mirth. Zagreus hadn’t seen Meg laugh in a long time, and it was delightful when she did. She lost that sharp edge; the gentle sound of her laughter a vast contrast to her usual glacial tone.

“You’re much too easy to tease, Zag,” she said, the laughter fading as quickly as it had come. “I’m pleased you like them. We had fun, but I can’t compare to someone who can change their entire structure on a whim. The sex must be decent enough, though, to compare with the loves of your past.”

“Ah, well,” Zagreus said quickly, finding himself blushing furiously as Meg glanced meaningfully his way. “You see, we, um, actually _haven’t_ … you know… yet.”

Meg raised an eyebrow.

“Not that I don’t want to!” Zagreus continued quickly, cheeks burning. “I want to. A lot. But I’m not sure how to… ask.”

“My, Zagreus,” Meg said, lips curling up into a slow smirk. “I’ve never known you to be so coy. What, are you intimidated? Is the eldritch originator a little too daunting a hill to climb?”

Zagreus, mid-sip of nectar, snorted it back into his glass. “ _Ack_ – ugh, no! I’m just… I really like them, Meg. I might just be in love. I don’t want to waste that.”

Meg regarded him for a long beat, and then rolled her eyes and downed the last of her drink. “Gods, how embarrassing for you. I loved you, once, if you’ll recall. You won’t waste it, Zagreus, with a little sex. You’ll waste it by worrying what Chaos wants instead of just _asking_ them. So, stop making small talk with your ex and go ask your lover if they’d like to fuck. You’re a God, for blood’s sake. Act like it.”

Meg stood up sharply from the table and stalked away across the room to the bar to order another drink. Zagreus watched her go, blinking in drunken surprise and appreciation. His gaze slid across the Lounge to where Chaos stood, and, suddenly fuelled by Megaera’s words and the sight of them there, Zagreus got to his feet.

He slowed, halfway across the room. No, he couldn’t rush this, despite what Meg said. The party was important, after all, and Zagreus was actually enjoying it. His question could wait – but just for a little while. He wanted first to revel in the openness of being with Chaos in the House, if by chance it was to be their last, before he escaped.

That thought had plagued him for a while now, and he did his best to ignore it once again. Rationally, Zagreus knew that one day – one day _soon_ – he would leave the House, and the Underworld, for good. He would leave Chaos. Chaos knew this too, of course, but they had not discussed it at length, and it did not make the thought any easier a thing to confront.

Again, Zagreus shoved it to the back of his mind, instead focusing on the song that Orpheus was playing, and how intensely he wished to move to it.

Chaos looked down at Zagreus, tugging on their arm where they stood next to Hypnos.

_“Do you require something of me, Zagreus?”_

Zagreus, feeling somewhat drunk on both nectar and now courage, nodded fiercely. “Yes. Yes I do. Would you dance with me? Please?”

Chaos looked amused. _“I have no use for dancing, but if it pleases you, then I shall attempt it.”_

Zagreus blinked. “’Attempt’ it? You mean – you’ve never tried?”

_“What purpose does dancing serve? I have found no need to attempt it, for it would benefit me none.”_

“That’s not true!” Zagreus blurted, and dragged Chaos away from the bar.

Oh, Gods, what was he doing? Teaching Chaos to _dance_? A sober thought broke through the fuzzy, drunken haze of Zagreus’s mind. He’d already subjected them to a party. And now dancing? Oh, Zagreus was sure he would pay for this later. No doubt his next blessing from Chaos would come with some terribly wretched new curse attached.

_“Your thoughts have changed,”_ Chaos murmured, startling Zagreus from his worries. _“Have you decided to pursue another course of action instead?”_

“Um, you won’t punish me for this later, right, Master Chaos?” Zagreus felt a warmth rise to his cheeks at the implication. “It’s only… I don’t mean to force you into anything you don’t wish to do.”

Chaos smiled softly. _“Your concern is misplaced. You offered me a choice, which I have done for you many times before. I accepted this offer. I would not have done so had I not wished to – of this, I can assure you.”_

“Oh.” Zagreus considered this for a moment, and then nodded. “Alright, then let’s dance.”

Zagreus took Chaos’s hand in his own and hooked the other about their waist. In this form, they were a bit taller than him, but it wasn’t too difficult to get them into a position that allowed them to mimic Zagreus’s own.

_“How curious immortals can be,”_ Chaos murmured, as Zagreus slowly began to lead them through the steps of the dance. _“I live alongside them, my own kind, and yet I rarely understand them the way I should think. Perhaps I have been alone too long.”_

Zagreus gazed up into Chaos’s fathomless purple eyes and tightened his grip on them reflexively. “Well, you’re not alone now. I promise.”

_“Indeed. I have uttered such before, but you, Zagreus, are largely different from your kin. You express your desires with such clarity as to provide me with insight into the true intentions behind your actions. You are… enlightening. There was a time I scoffed at your love of music. Yet, now…”_ they glanced at Orpheus. _“Now I believe I understand why it pleases you so.”_

Zagreus smiled warmly and leant into Chaos, letting their wings envelope him as they danced. The music drifted about them in the air, Orpheus slowly beginning to tire in the corner. He was no longer singing, but the harp strings produced such an agonisingly beautiful melody that there was no real need for lyrics at all. Chaos’s flesh – if that was what it could be called, Zagreus couldn’t be sure, even from the texture – seemed to slowly react under his touch. Usually cool and soft, it warmed beneath his hands, shifting softly back and forth like sand through water.

“The party’s almost over,” Zagreus said quietly. “I suppose that means you’ll go, as well.”

_“I may. I may not. There are possibilities in indecision.”_

“Then stay.”

Chaos leant down and kissed Zagreus, eliciting a few surprised murmurs from the remaining immortals in the Lounge. Zagreus ignored them. In fact, he barely registered their shock, instead entirely fixated against the burning taste of Chaos’s lips against his. Gods, he could kiss them forever. Each little motion, each gentle caress – it was a blink of blessed infinity through his mind, somehow both thrilling and destructive at the same time. Each kiss deepened his arousal, and at the same time brought him a little closer to the oblivion that Chaos had come to know.

_“I may remind you, Zagreus, I am a guest in this House,”_ Chaos said, withdrawing, to Zagreus’s disappointment. _“I do not wish to do anything which might pressure the already strained relationship between you and your father.”_

Zagreus pulled Chaos a little tighter against him, a burst of defiance erupting in his chest. “With all due respect: damn my father. What’s the worst he can do? Kill me? He’s already done that. A few times now, actually, and after the first it sort of loses its charm. I’m asking you to stay, Master Chaos. Just a little longer, at least. For me.”

_“For you,”_ Chaos echoed, and kissed him again. _“As you wish.”_

Zagreus kissed back eagerly, and then dropped his hand to tug at Chaos’s wrist. Chaos obliged, following him out of the Lounge and into his chambers.

“No-one will miss us,” Zagreus said, by way of explanation as they stepped into his room. “Hypnos was already asleep when we left.”

_“As sleep incarnate, he is rarely awake,”_ Chaos replied, and then was silenced by Zagreus reaching up to kiss them again.

Zagreus had wanted this for a long time. In fact, he’d long since lost count of his escape attempts and as such, this longing felt as though it had lasted an eternity. The simplest of touches, the softest of kisses – it was embarrassingly easy to arouse him, now. If Chaos was playing hard to get, it was working. Either that, or they did not feel the same.

While Zagreus doubted this, he still had to check.

“I’m not very good at all this,” he murmured, lips brushing Chaos’s, their foreheads touching, “but I… that is to say, I want very much–”

_“I know,”_ Chaos replied, mouth curving up into a smile. _“As I have said, your emotions are rarely veiled from me. It has been a long time since I indulged in carnal pleasures, but I am by no means against it. Nor am I immune to your desires, Zagreus. It is rare someone has such a powerful effect on me, but when I am with you, your emotions are… intoxicating.”_

“Gods, I truly think I’m in love with you,” Zagreus breathed shamelessly, feeling Chaos’s hands slip down to his hips, fingertips ghosting across bare flesh. It prickled at their touch.

Chaos chuckled lightly. _“This, I know, too.”_

Their fingers slipped under his tunic, teasing the skin at its edges, thumbing the sensitive skin of his inner thighs. Zagreus stifled a gasp against Chaos’s lips, his own hands reactively burying themselves into the long tresses of their hair. It was useless trying to slow down – they couldn’t go much slower and yet Zagreus was already half hard beneath his tunic, warm and wanting for the flesh before him.

_“I would, just for a moment, love you as though a mortal would. Permit me this selfishness, Zagreus, before we truly begin.”_

“Anything,” Zagreus breathed, voice breaking over the word as those fingers at his thighs traced ever closer to the warmth pooling between them. “Be as selfish as you like.”

While one hand was left beneath Zagreus’s tunic, caressing but never giving into desire, the other vanished and Zagreus sensed it return at the shoulder of his tunic. Hooked about Chaos’s neck, Zagreus’s arms tightened instinctively to feel the fabric drop away to his waist, held on only by the protrusion of his hips. Unlike most immortals, Zagreus’s body now bore the scars of his many failed attempts to escape. His father ridiculed him for his ability to bleed like a mortal, and now scar like one, too. It had made him a little self-conscious about them, truth be told.

Chaos must have sensed this. Without saying a word, they traced their fingertips across the scars, old, but still sensitive. The gash from a Brightsword’s blade. A burn from the Bone Hydra. The ugly, twisted marks of a Splitter’s orb. The fingers trailed up and under Zagreus’s chin, tilting it so that Zagreus was forced to look Chaos in the eye. His heart leapt at the gesture, and he searched Chaos’s face, the very depths of those purple eyes.

_“You told me I was beautiful, tonight,”_ Chaos murmured. _“I will show you how beautiful you are.”_

They leant down and kissed him, long, and slow. Zagreus closed his eyes, heart pounding, feeling suddenly weightless. If this was what he had waited so long for – this feeling of being so utterly and profoundly adored – then by the Gods, let it never end.

Chaos broke away, trailing kisses across Zagreus’s neck and jaw. Zagreus leant into it, forgetting for a moment the subtle strokes of the fingertips at his thighs.

_“You will forgive my enthusiasm,”_ Chaos whispered, lips brushing Zagreus’s ear. _“Your desires echo tenfold back upon me. Put plainly, what you feel, I do also. Now tell me: where, and how. And leave the rest to me.”_

“No, Master Chaos,” Zagreus began, “Surely I must be able to do _something_ for–”

A caressing hand shifted, sand through water, fingers thickening and lengthening until there was five long, ebbing tendrils against Zagreus’s inner thighs, sliding against him, soft and arrhythmic, teasing him enough to elicit a gasping moan that he only managed to silence by burying his face in the hollow of Chaos’s neck.

_“Where, and how,”_ Chaos repeated. _“Guesswork is only stimulating for a little while.”_

“There,” Zagreus breathed, seeing stars. “And _hard_.”

_“Understood.”_

A force seized Zagreus by the shoulders and his back hit the wall of his room, his gasp muffled by Chaos’s lips against his own. Their body moved and reshaped against him, their wings enveloping him, enshrouding it so that even if he were to look down, he’d see nothing but shadows and stars. A new set of hands emerged, sliding across to Zagreus’s wrists and then pulling them up hard, pinning them against the stone above his head.

_“Long ago, I was worshipped,”_ Chaos whispered, their voice seeming to echo about Zagreus despite their mouth pressed against his, moving only to reciprocate his kiss. _“Let me show you how that feels.”_

Zagreus leant his head back and closed his eyes, utterly overcome with the sensations assailing him from all sides. Chaos trailed kisses down his throat and chest while those tendrils still worked gently beneath his tunic, approaching and easing away again before Zagreus could feel enough stimulation to beg for release.

And then… another mouth, against his lower abdomen, and another, in the small of his back. A fourth emerged a moment later, sucking the soft flesh of his inner thighs, already responsive from the tendril’s earlier work. Zagreus didn’t – _couldn’t_ – open his eyes. He didn’t want to see the world around him, his pitiless chambers, the doorway beyond. He wanted to exist in this moment forever, surrounded by Chaos on all sides.

A second set of tendrils worked its way up around his throat, squeezing lightly, as one of the many between his thighs at last curled about his cock. Zagreus flinched, moaning, the sound coming out a low, broken keen as the pressure at his throat increased. His hips bucked up to meet it, desperate, torn between endless pleasure and sweet relief.

_“Not yet.”_

Chaos’s voice came again, a thousand whispers on all sides, teasing, reprimanding, reassuring all at once. Teeth snagged against the dips of his muscled chest and Zagreus whined, writhing under the hands and wings still pinning him against the wall. The tendril moved and pulsated, a rippling wave of pleasure between his thighs that stoked the white-hot fire that burned there, mounting and falling away with each clutch and release. The mouths across his body – the precise number of which by now he had lost count – caressed and nipped, pinching sensitive flesh for just a moment before soothing again with a kiss.

If this was worship, no doubt the Gods got drunk on the feel of it. Zagreus was aware of a stream of appreciative moans leaving his lips in gradual, escalating bursts, but it was distant now – in fact, _everything_ was distant. The only thing that mattered was Chaos. He, and Chaos, and right now.

Another thrust around his cock almost sent him over the edge. He couldn’t bite down on the whimper of pleasure that escaped him, and when Chaos shivered to hear it, Zagreus moaned in response. When Chaos reacted, every part of them stirred against him, a ripple in still waters that seemed to spread until Zagreus realised: he was feeling what Chaos felt. That echo of which Chaos often spoke, that ability to sense Zagreus’s emotions – for a brief, fleeting moment, Zagreus had felt it too.

The tendril quivered; pleasure came in waves on all sides, the all-encompassing shroud that was Chaos letting no part of Zagreus go untouched. The movement began to build and Zagreus nodded desperately, writhing under the iron grip, desperate to be granted release. The tendril settled into a steady rhythm against his cock and the one about his throat tightened and loosened with each motion, restricting his breathing just enough that it sent a pulse of giddiness through his head, a secondary stimulation that was enough to make him beg.

“Gods, Chaos, _please_ ,” he panted, arching so hard against the wall his back ached. “I’ll do anything. Everything. I’m yours.”

_“…Mine.”_

The many mouths whispered the word back at Zagreus, uttered it against his own flesh, and the tendril gave a final, rippling stroke. Zagreus failed to catch the broken cry that left his lips as light exploded out behind his eyes, sparking as it faded into darkness, the birth of a cosmos reduced to silence once more. He blinked them open, feeling the world suddenly upturned as Chaos released him from against the wall and he staggered forwards, all but dropping to his knees. He felt empty, somehow, as if now that Chaos was no longer with him there was a whole where his centre should be. At the same time, his body trembled with sensations, far too many and far too overwhelming to face now that the pressure of arousal was gone.

_“How utterly fascinating.”_

Chaos had reformed into their usual body and stood in front of him, wings curled about their waist. They looked unchanged, asides from the faint glow emanating from their core, that strange eye breaking out through their chest humming with an energy Zagreus had not seen before. They reached up briefly to touch at it and then dropped their hand away, a surprised smile appearing on their face.

_“Stimulation is something I did not know I would crave until I had experienced it. Now I wish to experience it more.”_

Zagreus blushed. “That can be arranged. I’m glad you enjoyed it too.”

Chaos nodded. _“Your patience is unremarkable, but your pain tolerance is surprising indeed. I did not push you too far in search of pleasure, I hope.”_

“I… what?” Zagreus said, blinking. “No, of course not. I thought you were going easy on me. Weren’t you?”

_“’There, and hard’. I did as bid of me, Zagreus. You left little to the imagination.”_

Zagreus was altogether too exhausted and exhilarated to feel any sort of embarrassment at that remark. Instead, when he made to sit on his bed, he found himself in Chaos’s arms, collapsed halfway across the room.

“Well, now _this_ is a little disconcerting,” Zagreus admitted, gazing up at the entity above him. “Would you mind settling me down over there?”

Chaos chuckled and helped Zagreus over to his bed. He flopped down with a contented sigh, revelling in the aftershocks of pleasure that left his body quivering atop the quilt. When he turned to smile at Chaos sitting next to him, the smile dropped at seeing Chaos gazing down intently at their hands.

“Are you alright?”

_“Perfectly.”_ Chaos lowered their hands and turned to look at Zagreus. _“I am simply reflecting on your emotional response to stimuli. You are… something else, Zagreus. Your desires are pure. You gave me gifts of nectar, once, but nothing tastes so sweet to me than your unadulterated pleasure.”_

Zagreus blushed and glanced away, busying his hands with retying his tunic up over his shoulder. “I think… I think I understand. I sort of felt a little of what you feel – or at least, I think I did, when we...”

Chaos nodded. _“You did well. Most cannot withstand experiences as eldritch as mine, much less make sense of them.”_

“I would, um, rather like to try to do so again.”

_“As would I.”_ Chaos graced Zagreus with a final kiss before getting to their feet. _“I will depart for now, however, and allow you a chance to recover. When you next find the time… you know you are always welcome in my domain.”_

Zagreus smiled softly. “I know.”

He watched Chaos morph through the mirror once more, and his room fell painfully silent in their absence. He lay there for a while, letting his emotions settle, letting the lasting sparks of pleasure flicker and burn out across his body. When he began to feel sleepy, he got up and wandered out into the Lounge again, searching for any bottles of nectar that might have been left behind after the party.

He found the Lounge empty, asides from Hypnos, curled up asleep on the bar, a half-drunk bottle of nectar clasped between his hands. He opened an eye at hearing Zagreus’s footsteps.

“Oh! Zagreus!” he said, smiling as he sat up and stretched. “It’s only you. Where’s Chaos?”

“They left,” Zagreus said, clearing his throat when his voice came out a little strained. “Is the party over?”

Hypnos nodded and hopped down to stand next to him. “I guess so, yeah! I think I must have drifted off again. Did you have a nice time, at least?”

_Mine._

Zagreus shook himself from the sudden memory and nodded quickly, accepting the bottle of nectar Hypnos offered from his outstretched hand.

“Um, yeah, it was great. You should throw these parties more often.”

“You know what, I think you’re right! But you gotta warn me next time you bring _the_ Chaos to one, alright? Almost scared me half to death – and I can’t even die!”

“Sorry,” Zagreus mumbled, sipping the nectar and relishing in the faint buzz it gave him. “It’s a bit of a long story, truth be told.”

Hypnos beamed. “Well, I’ve got the time now, if you wanted to chat?”

Zagreus nodded, blushing. “Sure. Why not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i don't write smut (this is... an attempt?) so feedback on it would be highly appreciated!


	5. Greetings in Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just hurt/comfort/angst my good people. you've been warned.

“I’m leaving.” Zagreus’s tone left no room for doubt. “This time, I’m going to defeat him.”

Pain welled up within Chaos, an endless, voracious pit. _“I know.”_

Zagreus flopped down on the floor of Chaos’s temple, ignoring for now the spread of offerings before him. Chaos floated over and settled down next to him, forcing the pain in their centre into submission. Zagreus had trained hard these last few escape attempts. Chaos had watched him many a night planning in his chambers, writing lists, ideas, tactics. Loathe to interrupt him, they had turned away, unwilling to see the exact path he might take to the surface, unwilling to face the hurt that that would inevitably cause.

“I’d expected a bit more of a reaction, if I’m being honest.”

Zagreus’s wounded tone stirred Chaos from their thoughts and they glanced over to look at him. Worry emanated from his form, but was mostly overshadowed by the rage that burned at his edges bright enough to blind.

_“Forgive me, Zagreus. However, both you and I knew this day would come. You will escape the Underworld and meet your mother. You will stay with her, and live a prosperous life on the surface, away from the crushing darkness of the below. Just as you always wished.”_

It was taking most of Chaos’s willpower to force these words to come out as they normally might. Zagreus did not need to see Chaos’s true upset, lest it deter him from his quest.

Zagreus sighed. “It hurts to have to say goodbye, though. It just doesn’t seem fair that to meet my mother means saying goodbye to you.”

Chaos smiled and reached forwards, tracing their fingertips along the edge of Zagreus’s face. Zagreus leant into the touch, and Chaos relished in feeling of Zagreus’s warmth sparking beneath their fingertips. Knowing that it would be the last time made it even harder to pull away.

_“There are goodbyes in every greeting, Zagreus,”_ Chaos uttered at last. _“I have taught you as much during your visits.”_

Zagreus recoiled slightly; his expression pained. “You make it sound as though your affections are transactional.”

_“No. Merely that nothing good in this world is without cost. I made my choice, as did you. The very nature of existing in this world is one of give and take. I chose to love you, knowing that one day you would breach the surface, never to return. And you chose to love me, knowing the same. You cannot profess unfairness, Zagreus, when our entire existence hinges on that same knife-edge you once claimed to know.”_

Zagreus flinched, the pain in his expression deepening as distress began to emanate from his form in waves. Chaos winced to sense it.

“How can you say that?” Zagreus asked, voice raw. “Are the Fates not often cruel? You’re saying my choice is to stay here, with you, or to leave, and find my mother. How is that not unfair? You’re asking me to choose between you and her!”

_“No, I am not. If there were ever a choice in the matter, then you would never have stayed.”_

“But I _love_ you.”

Zagreus stared at Chaos, his eyes wide and earnest. Chaos’s resolve weakened to see him in so much pain. When they answered, their voice was a quiet, controlled murmur, and at the same time tinged with desperation to aid Zagreus in understanding what was at stake.

_“And I, you. But we teeter on that blade, a breath from oblivion. You will leave the Underworld for good – of this I have no doubt – and when you do this place will understand the true meaning of grief to see me mourn. But I made this choice knowing its end. From the very beginning, I told you of this, taught you of sacrifice and gain. This, then, is the final lesson, although it was never intended as such. Know this, Zagreus, for it is the truth: the bliss of loving you is more than worth the pain of losing you. I do not regret a moment of it. Not one.”_

In all the time Chaos had known Zagreus, they had never seen him cry. Even now, Zagreus squeezed shut his eyes to force away tears and instead lurched forwards, throwing his arms about Chaos’s neck. Chaos held him, palms brushing the soft fabric of his tunic, feeling Zagreus’s aura pulse with affection and regret.

“I’m sorry, Chaos,” Zagreus mumbled into Chaos’s neck. “I’m so, so sorry. I would stay, I would, but my mother…”

_“You must go,”_ Chaos murmured back. _“Else, all your efforts will have been for naught. I will be fine. I have been alone before, and now, I will return to that solitary nature I once knew, all the better for loving you. Spare me no thoughts, Zagreus, as you leave. Think only of your mother. Of the surface, the sun, the sea. Let good thoughts drive your sword arm, and do not falter, not on my account.”_

Chaos had intended their words to be reassuring, but Zagreus tensed in their arms, that regret Chaos had sensed earlier growing. Incensed by his pain, Chaos pulled Zagreus away, gripping him by his shoulders so that they might see eye to eye. Zagreus gazed unblinkingly back at them. His eyes were bright, but still there were no tears to shed.

_Good_ , Chaos thought. _He is finally ready._

“I love you,” Zagreus said again, softer this time, and leant forwards to kiss Chaos.

Chaos accepted it. They kissed back, hands that clasped Zagreus’s shoulders lifting to ghost up the sides of his neck. They savoured the taste of him; that endless rage, the chilling cold, the faintest light of spring, knowing that this time, finally, would be the last.

Zagreus.

That well of grief grew within Chaos, a slowly expanding void.

_“Go,”_ Chaos said, when they broke apart. _“Go, and do not look back.”_

Zagreus held Chaos’s gaze just a moment longer before he nodded and got to his feet. Chaos followed, accompanying Zagreus to choose his last blessing. They had saved their best for Zagreus’s final escape, and Zagreus accepted it gratefully, his body glowing with the gift.

“Four lives with which to kill my father,” Zagreus muttered, watching the glow of the gift fade into his flesh.

Chaos smiled. _“I suspect you will only need three.”_

“Will you… will you be watching?”

_“I cannot. A shroud of darkness veils you from me the moment you leave the Temple of Styx, no doubt due to your father’s effect. But when you do not pass through the Pool once more, I will know of your success.”_

“You’ll need to toast my victory, then,” Zagreus joked half-heartedly. “Open some of that nectar I gave you, if you even have any of it left.”

_“If that is what you wish.”_

Zagreus wandered to the portal that now lay in the shadows ahead, leading him back to the glittering lights of Elysium. He paused a moment, facing away from Chaos, Stygius clutched tight in one hand.

“I can’t help but think of what you told me,” Zagreus said quietly. “That there are greetings in goodbyes.”

If Chaos had a heart lurking within the twisted matter of their eldritch form, right now, it was aching.

_“Then wish me farewell, Zagreus,”_ they said instead, _“And go forth to meet your mother in the world above.”_

“I will. Farewell, Chaos.”

_“Farewell.”_

Emptiness. The moment Zagreus vanished from Chaos’s home, they were consumed by emptiness. On instinct they reached out to summon forth his essence, to watch him in the final steps of his journey. Chaos held little power in the Temple of Styx, but they would accompany Zagreus’s to the very gates that led him to his father. This, at the very least, they could guarantee.

This escape was different, indeed. Chaos watched Zagreus unfalteringly slay Theseus and Asterius, progressing faster than he’d ever done to the Temple beyond. Sheer force of determination solidified his rage into a weapon all on its own.

Fury, skill, resolve. It made him a formidable foe. In the brilliant strikes of his blade, Chaos glimpsed the will of a god who might one day rival the Titans that once had scoured the earth. Chaos’s pride in Zagreus’s accomplishments was matched only by the mounting ache they felt as each step brought Zagreus closer to the gates.

It came, quicker than it had any right to. The end. Zagreus strode passed Cerberus, fingers flexing about the hilt of Stygius, and into the great beyond.

And then, there was nothing. Silence. Zagreus was engulfed in shadow, stepping into the one place Chaos’s gaze could not pierce. The image before them faded, no longer able to draw upon the threads of Zagreus as he had carved his way through the Underworld.

Zagreus was gone.

It took a long moment to fully comprehend. That crushing emptiness pressed in from all sides, a deluge of nothingness that was so profound Chaos was forced reached out a hand to steady themselves against the nearest pillar. Under the pressure, their body morphed out of the form they usually adopted to converse with Zagreus in, but unable to settle, their energies rolled back and forth, shifting with the emotions that welled up within them, a raging, bubbling tide that could no longer be contained. Agony ripped through them, an agony they had never known, an unquantifiable loss that manifested in their physical form. Eyes seared open across their body; horns and claws and fangs emerged from where once before was smooth, contented lines. Wings erupted from their back, feathers burning away the moment they appeared, leaving behind scorched and flightless bones.

Chaos lost track of how long they spent wrestling themselves under control. At the start of all of this, they had contemplated removing the emotions that had intensified whilst surveying the journey of Prince Zagreus. The unruliness of their matter when confronted with Zagreus’s smile. The affection that had arisen for his kindness. The disbelief at his continued, unprompted generosity. Now, they felt nothing but loss, a grief so deep as to make the very fabric of their realm shudder and split. Nevertheless, Chaos had known from the very beginning that this was the price to pay for having emotions at all.

They did not get to taste heaven without also suffering hell.

XXX

“Love?”

Persephone regarded Zagreus over her glass. He sat in the chair opposite her, basking in the warmth of the sun, and in Persephone’s own golden radiance she seemed to exude. It chased away the shadows of the Underworld that clung to him still. Yet despite the fullness of his heart to at last lay eyes on his mother, he could not entirely elude the ache in his chest at knowing what he had left behind.

“Yes,” he answered quietly. “I gave up a lot to be with you, Mother. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, Zagreus,” she said, voice soft and reassuring. “I asked how you were, and how you’d come to be here. If someone you care for helped you greatly… I’m pleased for you. Truly, I am. You must forgive my surprise; here I am, confronted with my son after all these years, and not only has he grown into a fine young man, but he is in _love_.”

Zagreus blushed. “Yes, I suppose it is a lot to take in all at once. But I didn’t come here to talk about me.”

“No, you must be here to talk of me, then,” Persephone answered with a sigh. “And so we shall, if that is what you wish.”

A small part of Zagreus had wondered if he might hate his mother, if the resentment he’d felt against her leaving him might be justified in some way. But sitting here, now… she was perfect. Kind and warm and so painfully sincere that he felt ungainly in some way, to be sat opposite her in the blooming elegance of her garden. Who was he, this boy with ashen skin and night-black hair, whose scalding feet burned the verdant earth she called home? He wanted to stay. He wanted to wash away the filth of the Underworld and live here, with Persephone, under the sun.

And yet…

A cough roused Zagreus from his thoughts, and he smothered it with one hand. Persephone glanced at him, concerned.

“Zagreus, my son, you’re bleeding.”

Zagreus glanced down. A smattering of red marred his pale fingers, smeared lightly from where he’d brushed them against his lips. He stood sharply, the chair falling back behind him. An unease in his gut spread, this dull, fervent ache throughout his limbs. A flash of pain sent him doubling over, clutching his stomach, face twisted in an effort to remain calm.

“No!” he muttered fiercely. “This – I don’t understand, I – I’m _dying_? But how?”

“Zagreus!”

Persephone stood to cradle him. He leant into her warmth, closed his eyes, waves of anguish blocked out by his sheer and utter disbelief. His _rage_. He had come all this way – for _nothing_? All that fighting, the training, the boons and pacts and deaths – he was to die here anyways, taken by a world that he craved to embrace but for some reason rejected him still? Was he to have no home at all, then? Would nowhere on this earth accept him? Unable to be with his Mother, and banished time and time again by his father. Was this a punishment? What had he done to deserve this?

It hurt. Everything hurt. Zagreus’s body trembled and shook, forcing down the blood bubbling up in his throat. Grief and rage collided and he pushed away from Persephone, staggering a few feet from her before collapsing into the grass. 

If this was indeed a punishment, Zagreus didn’t accept it. He had defied the Fates before by defeating his father, and he would do so again. That fury in him burned, white-hot and insatiable. Darkness take it all, he would come back. Even if it meant that death claimed him, over and over again. This wasn’t finished.

“I’ll… return,” he managed, blood oozing from his lips. “Wait… for me… Mother…”

Persephone’s cries fell on deaf ears as Zagreus’s vision blurred, and he sank once more into the Styx.

XXX

Time passed. How much, Chaos did not know. Not that time had ever really mattered to them, before. Now, however, it seemed to drag on, their suffering bound to this new infinity Zagreus had left behind.

They lay curled on the floor of the temple they had fashioned for him. Fragments of it swirled in the ether, the stone fragmented, a reflection of their grief. Even the ground beneath them shifted, cracked in two. The weakest hints of the fish they’d made reached their senses, the faintest breath of life amidst shadows.

Zagreus.

Chaos blinked open their eyes. A ripple of death passed through their domain, so agonisingly familiar it sent shards of confusion and desperation through their form, spurring them to their feet. They reached out into the ether, tugging on those strands that whispered of –

Zagreus.

Chaos watched in disbelief as Prince Zagreus dragged himself from the Pool of Styx. The moment he emerged, he broke into a run, trailing red through the House of Hades. Hypnos reached out in surprise but Zagreus ignored him, sprinting past and into his room. A limp developed between his chambers and the training grounds as Zagreus threw himself out of the House and into Tartarus once more.

Zagreus… had _returned_.

Chaos could scarcely belief it. They curled their fingers on instinct the moment Zagreus landed in the first chamber of Tartarus, summoning a gold edged gateway a few steps away. Stygius in hand, Zagreus laid into the awaiting Numbskulls, slashing at them with an unbridled rage Chaos had only seen Zagreus normally possess when passing the gates to confront his father.

When the dangers were clear, Chaos opened the portal. Unthinkingly, Zagreus threw himself into it, for the first time in many runs offering the blood price the gate demanded.

Chaos was somehow unprepared to see Zagreus standing in their domain again. They turned around, revealing themself to him. A heavy silence occupied the space for a beat. Zagreus took in Chaos’s form; the twisted, mutated matter in constant flux, thus betraying the turmoil within. Chaos regarded Zagreus; the unusual pallor of his face, his ragged breathing, the new and bloody scars across his body, and the waves of despair that rippled off of him, so intense as to drown out every other emotion clamouring to be heard.

“I found her.”

Zagreus voice broke on the final word. Tears sprung to his eyes and he blinked them away angrily, grip tightening about Stygius in rage.

“I found her, Chaos, and I _died_. It wasn’t father, it wasn’t demons, or monsters or witches or anything else, I was just – _there_ , and then I was _gone_.”

His frustration built, weaving about his form, feeding into the rage that already simmered there. With a shout of anguish, he lifted Stygius and slammed the blade down into the floor of the temple, over and over and over, carving ragged lines into the stone. Chaos watched, torn between their overwhelming feelings of joy to see Zagreus again, and their pain at seeing his suffering.

“It’s not _fair!”_ Zagreus’s voice rose to a cry. “I’m forced to say goodbye to you to meet my mother, and she’s perfect, she’s _perfect_ , and then I’m _bleeding_. If this is a joke of the Fates, it is far from funny. Just how many times do I have to die to feel like I belong?”

Chaos’s resolve broke and they rushed forwards, taking a glancing blow of Stygius to the wrist as they pulled Zagreus into their arms. He collapsed into them, sobbing. Stygius clattered to the floor and Zagreus let himself be held, body shaking. Many times had Chaos been enveloped by Zagreus’s emotions, but never did they think they would ever wish not to feel what he felt. A lifetime of suffering, of guilt, of confusion, of blame, rolled off of him. Every shout of his father, every strike of a blade – Chaos could feel it all, raw and earnest.

They sat like that for a long while. At some point, a new set of wings emerged from Chaos’s form, white, downy feathers enveloping the bloody Prince. He leant into them, taking deep, controlled breaths, fingers clutched tight about Chaos’s slowly stilling form. Eventually, Chaos felt the torrent of Zagreus’s emotions recede.

“You were right, you know.”

Chaos lifted their head, pulling away just enough to meet Zagreus’s eye. _“About what, in this regard?”_

Zagreus reached up to touch gently the side of Chaos’s face. “There are greetings in goodbyes, after all.”

_“Indeed,”_ Chaos smiled, leaning forwards to kiss Zagreus’s temple. _“Perhaps your anger at the Fates for their unfairness is misplaced, this once. After all, whilst they may have been cruel to you, they in turn have been kind to me.”_

Zagreus’s gaze drifted briefly from Chaos’s face to take in the aberrations across their form – the horns breaking through their head, the fangs amidst their teeth, the fragmented matter across their arms and torso. He leant a hand against Chaos’s chest, fingers cool against the pulsating eye nestled there.

“What happened?” he asked, quietly. “Are you alright?”

_“I may be, in time.”_

Zagreus sighed, wiping the mixture of blood and tears from his face. “I… I can’t stay, Chaos. I’m sorry. But I want to try again – I have to. My mother… I belong with her. I’ve never felt peace like I did up there with her. I’ve always thought I was the cause of our fractured family, but this close to the truth, I wondering if something else occurred to drive my parents apart.”

_“Of course.”_ Chaos smoothed Zagreus’s hair back from his face with one hand. _“And I will be here for you, no matter the number of times it takes. If with Persephone is where you are happiest, then I will do my best to aid you in returning to her.”_

“I wish… I wish saying hello to one of you didn’t mean goodbye to the other.”

_“Say it a few more times, my young love. Perhaps one day, the Fates will hear you.”_

Chaos took Zagreus’s face in their hands and kissed him. Zagreus kissed back tenderly, his mouth warm with blood and ash. When they broke apart, Chaos thumbed the last traces of tears from Zagreus’s face and smiled.

_“For now, you are here.”_

Zagreus smiled. “Yes, Chaos. I’m here.”


End file.
